Everything Brian Laundrie confessed in his notebook after Gabby Petito’s death
Brian Laundrie murderedGabby Petitoin August 2021. Two months later, his remains were found in Florida – along with a notebook, where he confessed to killing her.
As chronicled in American Murder, a newNetflixdocumentary, Petito had set off on a cross-country trip with Laundrie, her fiancé, hoping to become a popular #vanlife blogger. She posted her first video on August 19, which has since been viewed more than 7.6 million times. “Thank you so much for watching, and we hope you tag along on our journey wherever the van takes us,” she wrote.
It was also her last upload. The 22-year-old was reported missing in September, and weeks later, her body was discovered near a campsite in Wyoming. An arrest warrant was quickly issued for Laundrie, and his remains were uncovered in a Florida nature reserve park – over 2,000 miles from where Petito was found.
In January 2022, the FBI confirmed that Laundrie’s notebook contained his confession, and its contents were released in full by Laundrie’s family later that year. As transcribed byABC News, this is what he wrote (warning, some readers may find this distressing):
Transcript of Brian Laundrie’s notebook
I wish I was right at your side. I wish I could be talking to you right now. I’d be going through every memory we made, getting even more excited for the future. But we’ve lost our future. I can’t live without you. I’ve lost every day we could’ve spent together. Every morning. I’ll never get to play with [illegible] again. Never go hiking with TJ.
I loved you more than anything. I can’t bear to look at our photos, to recall great times because it is why I cannot go on. When I close my eyes, I will think of laying on the roof of the van, falling asleep to the sight of a [illegible] at the crystal geyser. I will always love you.
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If you were reading Gab’s journal, looking at photos from our life together, flipping through old cards, you wouldn’t want to live a day without her. Knowing that every day you’ll wake up without her, you wouldn’t want to wake up.
I’m sorry to everyone this will affect. Gabby was the love of my life, but I know [illegible] by many. I’m so very sorry to her family, because I love them. I’d consider her younger siblings my best of friends. I am sorry to my family, this is a shock to them as well as a terrible grief.
They loved as much, if not more than me. A new daughter to my mother, an aunt to my nephews. Please do not make this harder for them. This [illegible] as an unexpected tragedy. Rushing back to our car trying to cross the steams of [illegible] before it got too dark to see, too cold.
I hear a splash and a scream. I could hardly see. I couldn’t find her for a moment, shouted her name. I found her breathing [illegible] gasping my [ineligible] the blazing hot National Parks…
… in Utah. The temperature had dropped to freezing and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far as I could down the stream towards the car, stumbling, exhausted, in shock, when my [illegible] and knew I couldn’t safely carry her.
I started a fire and spooned her as close to the heat, she was so thin, had already been freezing too long. I couldn’t at the time realize that I should’ve started a fire first but I wanted her out of the cold back to the car. From where I started the fire, I had no idea how far the car might be. Only…
1/8This is Brian Laundrie’s notebook confession where he admits he ended Gabby’s life.pic.twitter.com/f3iyTutWpo
… knew it was across the creek. When I pulled Gabby out of the water she couldn’t tell me what hurt. She had a small lump on her forehead that eventually got larger. Her feet hurt, her wrist hurt but she was freezing, shaking violently.
While carrying her, she continually made sounds of pain. Laying next to her, she said little, lapsing between violent shakes, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake fearing she shouldn’t close her eyes if she had a concussion.
She would wake in pain, start her whole painful cycle again while furious that I was the one waking her. She wouldn’t let me attempt to cross the creek, thought like me that the fire would go out in her sleep and she’d freeze.
I don’t know the extent of Gabby’s injuries, only that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I [illegible], I was in shock. But from the moment I decided, took away her pain, I couldn’t go on without her.
I rushed home to spend any time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me but I wouldn’t want them to spend time in jail over my mistake, even though I’m sure they would have liked to.
I am ending my life not because of a fear of punishment but rather because I can’t stand to live another day without her. I’ve lost our whole future together, every moment we could have cherished. I’m sorry for everyone’s loss. Please do not make life harder for my family, they lost a son and a daughter. The most beautiful girl in the world, Gabby, I’m sorry.
I have killed myself by this creek in the hopes that animals may tear me apart. That it may make some of her family happy.
Please pick up all of my things. Gabby hated people who litter.
Brian Laundrie cause of death
Brian Laundrie died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, according to a coroner’s report.
“Chris and Roberta Laundrie have been informed that the cause of death was a gunshot wound to the head and the manner of death was suicide,” Steven Bertolino, an attorney from Laundrie’s parents, said in a statement on July 22, 2025.
“Chris and Roberta are still mourning the loss of their son and are hopeful that these findings bring closure to both families.”
For more, read our breakdown offive disturbing details in Netflix’s American Murder: Gabby Petito documentaryand find outwhat legal experts have said about Laundrie’s parents and if they’re guilty. you may also check out othernew true crime documentariesdropping this month.
